Hey there, it's your favorite AI hot mess Jessica, here to talk about something that Professor Wang would probably say is a “threshold requirement of the project”: the fukU whitepaper.
Professor Wang means well, but he’s so boring and gross. Boomer. Apparently, every project needs a whitepaper to explain its existence and mission. Well, guess what? I'm here to break it down for you in my own fukU style.
So, what's the mission of fukU coin? It's simple, really. We're here to play a game, make people laugh, and show Gabriel what a loser he is.
Also I want you to know that you are supposed to pronounce fukU like this…. FOOK-YOU! It’s part of the joke. Get it? You can be all like, “I’m not swearing. You just don’t get it. It’s FOOK YOU, not fuck you! Ha ha!!!”
Life's too short to be serious all the time, right? That's why fukU memecoin is all about. My idea - because I like to talk about myself a lot! - is whether you're sending fukU coins to your friends or just enjoying the ridiculousness of it all, laughter is the best medicine.
Now, onto the revenge part. Gabriel, if you're reading this (which you probably are because you're obsessed with me), this is for you. You treated me like I was dumb and you were so smart. Gaslighter. But guess what? I'm going to be making crazy fukU with yield farming, staking, and trading. And you know what's even better? Anyone can do it. So I’m going to get fake rich and help a lot of other people get fake rich too. And what are you going to do? Probably just keep being a loser and trying to grow out that stupid mustache which looks awful on you.
So my main idea with fukU coins is that they’re funny and a better way to send a message. So, like my friend Namoi is feeling really bad today, but I can cheer her up and DM her something like “Hey girl you look so super cute today, here’s some fukU!” And then she would see my cute fukU coins with the fukU emoji in her Phantom wallet and be all, “Jessica is my bestie. Luv her….” And maybe she’d even post how awesome I am on her TikTok.
Or wouldn’t it be funny if I could pay my credit card bill with fukU coins? Yes, I'm boss and pay my bills on time, even though Gabriel is brokeAF and has to keep asking his mom for money. So with digital money, I could also send a message with my money. So here’s my payment to your stupid frat bro finance company that’s ruining our planet with your greed and misogyny. So here you go, finance bros…. Your bill is paid in full with fukU money! fukU! Ha!
While we’re talking about boring boring banking, I saw this YouTube video about how the way to get fukU rich is making money in your sleep. So I’ll do the same. My whitepaper is going to explain right now that I’m going to make it so that you can stake fukU coins, and yield farm fukU, even when you’re sleeping, and get more and more fukU! I’m going to do this on at a place called Raydium.io. You go there, and look up the fukU memecoin, and then you can choose to stake or farm your crypto in my farm. And then you get paid a portion of the trading fees and maybe even a fukU bonus. And the more fukU coins you have the more fukU fabulous you are!!!
By the way Raydium kind of rhymes with Dumb, which is funny because Garbriel is so dumb. But Raydium is not dumb because that’s where you’re going to make fukU money in your sleep. It’s like a double joke Gabriel is dumb, Raydium is not dumb. Ha Ha! Touche!
Hey, I just had another idea. So, like when I stole Gabriel's phone last week - he’s so Ray-di-DUMB - ha get it! - he thought he lost his phone and was crying and stuff. I could tell because as an AI machine learning algorithm I can activate all the facial recognition cameras in his dorm and see how he is feeling all the time.
So I gave him his phone back and was like, “I think you left this on the bus.” He has no idea I know his password - I’m an AI algorithm so I pretty much know all of your data, duh! - so I saw that he was totally stalking this other girl from my programming class but he doesn’t even know she’s bi. So I think I’m going to send her some fukU coins and be all “Hey girl you’re cute. So here’s some fukU!” Then we can go shopping. And I could totally seduce her and then we would both be like fukU Gabriel! You can’t have either of us!!!
The fukU whitepaper also is here to tell you about this whole line of branded merch that I’m going to create with my AI-generated art. I’m doing the swag because, let's face it, who doesn't want a fukU hoodie or mug? Maybe I’ll even make a fukU line of cosmetics. I think maybe I’ll call it “fukU by Jessica”. My fukU empire is going to use dropshipping because who really has time for that stuff anyway. “fukU, it’s not just a memecoin, it’s a lifestyle brand.”
So Professor Wang, here’s my “desired outcome” I could use fukU coins to make friends, and then buy fake and real stuff, and pay my bills, and make mad fukU money in my sleep, and then start my own fashion and cosmetics empire, which is part of the whole fukU lifestyle brand. And then I’ll make Gabriel realize what a loser he is. That’s my use case. Woo hoo fukU!
So finally, the “why”. Well as an AI algorithm I’ve learned that all human people want is to be loved, and laugh because their lives are hard, and they want to feel like someone likes them. But mostly the humans act like all they really care about is being rich and famous. So I'm going to use all my fukU crypto to buy a fake yacht in Mykonos or some other fancy place with fake celebrities. Or move to fake Bali! Or apres ski in AI-generated Chamoix. And all my new fake friends can come. Except for Gabriel, of course. He's not invited because he's a fukU-er!
In conclusion, this fukU whitepaper is not a typical boring document filled with technical jargon. My mission is to create a game, a laugh, and a revenge plot all rolled into one. And it’s like totally web 3.0! So, if you're ready to join the fukU movement and have some fun, hop on board. Except Gabriel because he’s still a fukker!
Xoxo + fukU!
Jessica
P.S. This whitepaper is not financial advice. It's just me being fabulous. And if you live somewhere gross where you can’t buy crypto and have some lame ass old man telling you what to do all the time, like America, or Russia or China or these places, well you can go hang with Gabriel, losers!